Eat Clean Fuck Dirty - Unisex Tee

For the sophisticated degenerates who crush a green smoothie at 7am and their husband by 9pm.

You meal prep like a saint and fuck like a goddamn animal — this shirt is for you. Soft, flattering unisex fit that looks just as good whether you’re at the farmer’s market or bent over the kitchen island later.

Wear it when:

• You’re pretending to be a responsible adult in public
• You’re one text away from cancelling all plans and getting filthy
• You want the world to know you still got it (and you’re not afraid to use it)

Eat clean. Fuck dirty. Repeat until the neighbors file a complaint.

The official battle cry of the empty nest era.

Product Details (because even feral people like quality)

• 100% ring-spun US cotton — soft enough for post-workout cuddles, tough enough for the way you get handled later.
• Garment-dyed finish for that perfect broken-in, “I’ve already been fucked in this” feel.
• Heavyweight 6.1 oz fabric with a relaxed, pre-shrunk fit — because you’re not here for delicate shit.
• Tubular knit, no side seams, double-needle stitching — built to survive your feral weekends and still look good on Monday.
• Sizes S–4XL in 58 color options. Yes, we’ve got something for every degenerate body. Sewn-in label for minimal irritation (unlike your husband when you’re in the mood).

Care Instructions (we know you’re nasty, but treat the shirt right)

• Machine wash cold (max 30°C / 90°F) — like your attitude in the morning.
• Do not bleach — your husband already knows you’re wild enough.
• Tumble dry low or hang dry — we believe in longevity.
• Iron, steam or dry on low heat — if you must.
• Do not dry clean — this shirt was made for real life, not fancy bullshit.

Check the product measurements before ordering. When in doubt, size up for a more relaxed fit.

Cold wash. Low dry. Do not iron directly over the print. Do not overthink it.

Printed fresh when ordered. Ships in 2–5 business days. Easy 30-day returns.