{"product_id":"eat-clean-fuck-dirty-unisex-tee","title":"Eat Clean Fuck Dirty - Unisex Tee","description":"\u003cp dir=\"auto\" style=\"white-space: pre-wrap;\"\u003eFor the sophisticated degenerates who crush a green smoothie at 7am and their husband by 9pm.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"auto\" style=\"white-space: pre-wrap;\"\u003eYou meal prep like a saint and fuck like a goddamn animal — this shirt is for you. Soft, flattering unisex fit that looks just as good whether you’re at the farmer’s market or bent over the kitchen island later.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"auto\" style=\"white-space: pre-wrap;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWear it when:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul dir=\"auto\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eYou’re pretending to be a responsible adult in public\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eYou’re one text away from cancelling all plans and getting filthy\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eYou want the world to know you still got it (and you’re not afraid to use it)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"auto\" style=\"white-space: pre-wrap;\"\u003eEat clean. Fuck dirty. Repeat until the neighbors file a complaint.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"auto\" style=\"white-space: pre-wrap;\"\u003eThe official battle cry of the empty nest era.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 dir=\"auto\"\u003eProduct Details (because even feral people like quality)\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul dir=\"auto\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e100% ring-spun US cotton\u003c\/strong\u003e — soft enough for post-workout cuddles, tough enough for the way you get handled later.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eGarment-dyed finish\u003c\/strong\u003e for that perfect broken-in, “I’ve already been fucked in this” feel.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eHeavyweight 6.1 oz fabric\u003c\/strong\u003e with a relaxed, pre-shrunk fit — because you’re not here for delicate shit.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eTubular knit, no side seams, double-needle stitching\u003c\/strong\u003e — built to survive your feral weekends and still look good on Monday.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eSizes S–4XL\u003c\/strong\u003e in 58 color options. Yes, we’ve got something for every degenerate body. Sewn-in label for minimal irritation (unlike your husband when you’re in the mood).\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 dir=\"auto\"\u003eCare Instructions (we know you’re nasty, but treat the shirt right)\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul dir=\"auto\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMachine wash cold (max 30°C \/ 90°F) — like your attitude in the morning.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDo not bleach — your husband already knows you’re wild enough.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eTumble dry low or hang dry — we believe in longevity.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eIron, steam or dry on low heat — if you must.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDo not dry clean — this shirt was made for real life, not fancy bullshit.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":51916046270684,"sku":"10791622853106186935","price":22.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Bay \/ 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